Harry Potter and the Fullmetal Professor
by Paragon of Awesomeness
Summary: Edward Elric, seeking new knowledge, agrees to teach Alchemy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But will the students be able to survive his teaching methods? To make matters worse, one kid with blond hair keeps whining about tattling to his daddy if he doesn't get his way. And what's with all this "Boy-Who-Lived" and "You-Know-Who" crap that Ed keeps hearing about?
1. Magic? Seriously?

**Thank you for clicking on this story, and I hope you enjoy!**

**For those out there already familiar with my writing, I'm well-aware that this sin't ususally what I do. At all. However, I somehow ended up finding out about Fullmetal Alchemmist (don't ask me kow, I don't remember the details) long story short, it intrigued me, and I ended up watching the series. And of course, I've read the Harry Potter books. After reading some of the crossovers, I decided to make one of my own.**

**Chapter 1: Magic? Seriously?**

_Resembool_

Edward Elric was resting peacefully in one of the guest bedrooms that Winry Rockbell and her grandmother had set aside for him during his short visit. Ed sighed as he pressed his head against the pillow. He'd been gone for almost a whole year, never calling, never sending any letters, and then without any warning he had just shown up on their doorstep simply so Winry could take a look at his automail.

Ed was delighted to find out that he had grown a full inch during his time abroad, but that also meant that he was off-balance again, so they needed a couple days to make him a new leg.

Ed secretly hoped that it would take them longer to assemble his automail. It was bad enough that they were charging him a small fortune for the rush, but what really made him wish for the long wait was the simple fact that spending time in the company of friends was a rare luxury nowadays. Along with that, now whenever he was off in foreign countries searching for new knowledge, he didn't even have his brother Alphonse there with him.

Edward had called Al when he'd decided to go back to Resembool to see the Rockbells, hoping they could return to their old home together, but apparently Al was still learning about Xingese alkahestry.

_Yeah right,_ Ed snorted in amusement._ He probably just wants to spend more time with May Chang._ And then he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

When Ed opened his eyes, he wasn't awake. The overwhelming feeling of nostalgia along with Ed's disbelief made him almost certain that this was a dream. But it wasn't.

Edward found himself in the same white void he had been to before, but this time, there was no Portal of Truth towering above him.

"Welcome back, Edward Elric." An all too familiar voice said. Ed turned, and to his dismay, found himself face to face with someone he had hoped he would never have to lay eyes on again.

Truth.

"What the... How am I here!" Ed screamed. "I didn't do a human transmutation! I can't even do alchemy anymore! I gave you my Portal of Truth when I brought Al back!"

"That's right," Truth snickered. "But you see, Edward Elric, you still have a role to play in this world."

"What are you talking about?"

"There are others like the dwarf in the flask, the one you knew as the Father of the homunculi. These beings, given the chance, will inflict untold suffering on the world."

"Why the hell does that matter to you?" Ed demanded. "In all the years that Father and the homunculi manipulated and massacred the people of Amestris, you never did anything. Why have you decided to act for the good of the world now? Why does it matter to you if we suffer?"

"You know who I am, Edward Elric. I am the World. I am the Universe. I am God. I am Truth. I am All. I am One. And I am You. My role is to act as a balance. The power that I safeguard is not meant for just anyone. Those who seek to claim the power of what you call God for themselves must pay a hefty price for their arrogance, you know this better than most." Truth told the former alchemist. "And you're a fool to think that I played no part in the defeat of the dwarf in the flask. Without my subtle hand guiding mankind, you, your brother, and everyone you know would have blundered in the darkness, desperately in vain for a solution to the mayhem."

"I suppose." Ed reluctantly admitted. "But what the hell does that have to do with you bringing me back to this place?"

"I told you that there are others who will destroy the world if it means getting what they want. Since I oversee the world, I can't just sit back and let that happen. But even I have to play by the rules. The only reason I can appear to you now is because you are the only person, human or homunculus, who has ever beaten me. This allows me to bend the rules a little when dealing with you."

Ed bared his teeth. "You still haven't told me why you brought me here."

Truth smiled. "As I've already said twice, someone is planning to take something that isn't theirs, and they aren't ready for. And so I'm here to make sure that you can stop them."

"Exactly what makes you think I'm just going to do what you want?" Ed snarled.

"Because you will be affected by this whether you like it or not, Edward. If this evil goes unchallenged, it will eventually find you and the people you care for. That's not me threatening you, that's the simple truth of what will happen without your intervention."

Ed grimaced, and gave in. "Alright, if it means protecting innocent people, I'll help stop this guy, whoever he is. But how am I gonna go up against this guy? Ever since I gave you my Portal, I'm not much of a fighter."

"I've noticed, Edward. Thats why I'm giving you your Portal back."

Ed was silent for several seconds, until he finally managed to choke out "...What?"

"It's true that you don't need alchemy to live a perfectly happy and comfortable life, but having powers such as alchemy at your disposal certainly make it easier. Your alchemy will give you the strength needed in order to succeed. However, giving you back your Portal will still require a sacrifice."

Edward's eyes widened in horror. "_No_! I won't let you take Alphonse again! I'll do everything I can to protect people, but I won't let Alphonse be the one to pay the price, he has nothing to do with this!"

Truth grinned "You can relax, Edward. If you had freely chosen to take back your Portal, it would have required that you sacrifice your brother's body and soul, but since you're being forced, you can get away with paying a lesser price."

"Seriously?" Ed gaped.

"Of course. You've already seen it once before. When you attempted human transmutation, you lost a leg, your brother lost his body, and your teacher lost several of her organs. But when Roy Mustang entered my domain, all he lost were his optic nerves. He did lose his ability to see, but that was a small price to pay compared to attempting to create an entire person. The reason he lost only a small part of his body is because although he committed the great taboo, it was against his own will. And now you, Edward Elric, will regain your Portal of Truth, like it or not. And while you will still have to sacrifice something, I will be gracious, and show you the same generosity I showed Roy Mustang."

Ed sighed "If that's the way it has to be, then fine. But if something's going to be sacrificed so I can get my Portal back, then take it from me, not Al, or anyone else."

Truth nodded. "Fair enough. And now that you mention it, I have the perfect sacrifice in mind."

"What?" Ed wondered.

"Nothing you haven't given up before." Truth said calmly, though that didn't exactly reassure Ed.

Before he could respond, he heard the signature sound of transmutation directly behind him, and spun to see a Portal of Truth, _his_ Portal of Truth, forming before his eyes. It was reconstructed exactly the way it had been when he had given it to Truth as the sacrifice necessary to bring back Alphonse. As it finished, the doors of the Portal swung open to reveal a single eye, which was shortly followed by several ethereal shadow hands reaching out to Edward.

Ed couldn't help being slightly afraid, but he didn't bother trying to run. The Gate would take whatever toll Truth demanded no matter what he did. And as long as it was taken from him and not Alphonse, he would find a way to cope. And so, Edward calmly watched as the hands of the Gate reached out to ensnare him.

Or more specifically, his right arm.

* * *

The sound of screaming woke Winry.

_That's Ed!_ She realized. Winry lit a candle and ran to Ed's room, thinking that he must be suffering from a particularly horrifying nightmare, since he was still screaming. She opened the door to his room, ready to offer Ed whatever comfort she could give.

But when Winry opened the door, the sight that awaited her would leave her with nightmares of her own for a long time. And that sight was of Ed screaming in pain while lying in a pool of his own blood.

"_Edward!_" Winry screamed.

"Winry!" Grandma Pinako's voice exclaimed from behind her. "What's going on- Oh dear heavens!" She gasped as she saw Edward herself. To her credit, the old lady sprang into action immediately. "Winry, take those bedsheets and do what you can to stop the bleeding. I'll go get some bandages."

"Right," Winry said as she recovered from her initial shock. She ran to Ed's side and bundled up the sheets. It only took her a second to find the source of the bleeding: Ed's right arm was gone.

"Oh Ed..." Winry whispered as she pressed the sheets against Ed's bleeding stump, making sure that she put on enough pressure to slow down the flow of blood, yet not so hard that it would cause further damage. Ed's screaming died down, though his face was still cringing in pain.

"Winry..."

"Don't talk, Ed," Winry told him. "Just try to stay calm. Granny's going to be here with some bandages any minute, and we'll stop the bleeding and take good care of you."

Pinako appeared in the doorway, and sighed sadly when she saw that Ed had somehow lost his arm a second time. The old lady and her granddaughter then set themselves to work by wrapping up Ed's injury, and then Pinako had Winry take him out of the room while she cleaned up. She knew it wouldn't be good for Edward's mental health to remain in a bed that was drenched with his own blood.

"Hey Winry," Ed wheezed.

"I told you not to talk, Ed." The girl scolded.

"I was just gonna ask... think you could add a new arm to my bill?"

* * *

Ed was forced to spend the next several months with the Rockbells as his body painfully readjusted to having a mechanical arm. He knew he should count himself lucky, it took most people about three years to get completely used to automail. Ed couldn't deny that it was frustrating, losing his arm after going through so much trouble to get it back, but he'd spent the past several years with two automail limbs, and as long as Alphonse didn't have to suffer, he was okay. Besides, now that he had a metal arm, he had something he could use to protect himself with against Winry's wrench. The arm was just like the one Winry had made for him in Fort Briggs; durable and light. And then there was the fact that his alchemy was back.

While Edward lived with the Rockbells, technically he was still recovering. But after just a couple months it was clear even to Pinako that he was strong enough to help out around the house. Normally it would have been a real chore, but with his alchemy back, all Edward had to do was clap his hands, and a second later the job would be done. Then they'd give him something else to do.

On one of the last days of spring, Edward sat on the front porch, scratching Den behind the ears, when he noticed two people wearing blue coats trudging up the path that led to the Rockbells' house. One had black hair, the other was blonde.

Curious, Ed got up and waited. As the newcomers came closer, Ed realized that they were Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye.

"Well, if it isn't Colonel Bastard himself. What brings you to Resembool?"

"It's General now, Edward," Mustang growled. He then noticed Ed's arm. "So the rumours are true. Does that mean you can use alchemy again as well?"

"Yep."

"Then I think we might be able to help each other." Mustang said as he continued walking towards the house. "Why don't we go inside, and I'll explain everything to you there."

* * *

"As you know, Edward, Amestris has had a... strained relationship with its neighbours." Mustang began.

"Yeah, that tends to happen when your country is constantly starting wars so it can expand." Ed muttered.

"Tell me about it," Mustang sighed. "But now that the homunculi are no longer pulling the strings, we in the new government's senior staff are hoping to have some international alliances for a change. Unfortunately, that not exactly easy since we're at open war with Aerugo despite our new attempts at forming a peace treaty, and maintaining the non-aggression pact with Drachma is a constant challenge. The only reason we're not at war with Creta as well is because their population is so decentralized."

Mustang continued "Since finding allies in any of the nations bordering us is next to impossible for the foreseeable future, Fürher Grumman has instead tasked me with pursuing treaties with countries a bit farther from home. And there is one potential alliance that I think you might be very interested in, Elric."

"Go on." Ed muttered.

"About five months ago, we began negotiations for a treaty with a country called Great Britain. It's not close in any sense of the word, but we have good reason to pursue our relationship with them."

"And what might that be?"

"Well... I can't think of any convincing way to say this, but the people of Great Britain have found little use for alchemy throughout their history, mainly because what little they've been able to do with it is mostly primitive compared to what alchemists of our calibre know. So their people have compensated by instead become adept in the use of magic."

Ed couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Magic? Come on, General, you're an alchemist, you know that there's no such thing as magic."

"Believe me, Ed, until a few months ago, I thought the same thing."

Edward snorted, but decided to play along. "Alright, let's say for a minute that I'm willing to believe you. So, where do I come in?"

"Just as we're intrigued by their magic, Edward, they're intrigued by our advanced alchemy. After some negotiation with the Ministry of Magic's Wizengamot - their equivalent of a parliament - it has been decided that a State Alchemist will be selected by their Chief Warlock to become a professor of alchemy and teach it to the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I've recommended you for the position."

"What the- Me? What makes you think I want to be involved in this crap, General?"

"Ed, you've dedicated yourself to traveling the world seeking new knowledge. Right now I'm offering you the chance to go directly where they teach magic. Just imagine the wealth of information that you'll have unrestricted access to. And I should probably also inform you that the people in Great Britain who use can magic keep their true selves secret from those not born with their power. So if you ever manage to get to Great Britain yourself, I guarantee you that you'll have no small amount of trouble finding these magic users."

Ed paused as he considered this. "Alright, I guess it couldn't hurt to at least check it out. And who knows, maybe this whole magic gig will turn out to be true after all. Although I should warn you, General, if this turns out to be a prank, I'm gonna kick your ass."

Mustang smiled. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Edward, and I'm glad to have your assistance. You'll have to come with me to Central so you can meet the Chief Warlock. And that reminds me, you'll need this as well," Roy then reached into his pocket, and when he brought his hand back out, it was holding a silver pocket watch. And after a moment of deliberation, Edward took it.

"Welcome back, Fullmetal."

* * *

_Central Command_

"So your old place wasn't big enough to satisfy your ego, General?" Ed muttered as they entered General Mustang's new office.

"Not now, Fullmetal," Mustang hissed. He then spoke so that the person who was already waiting in his office could hear him. "Edward Elric, I'd like to introduce you to Albus Dumbledore, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Mustang then spoke to Dumbledore directly. "Albus Dumbledore, may I present Major Edward Elric, also known as the Fullmetal Alchemist. He is one of the most skilled alchemists in all of Amestris, and the youngest State Alchemist in history."

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Elric." Dumbledore smiled. "I understand that General Mustang here has recommended you to be the new professor of Alchemy at Hogwarts."

As Ed looked at Dumbledore, one thought crossed his mind. _Damn, this guy is _old.

Finally Ed spoke. "So... you're a wizard?" At first, the only response he got was the sound of Mustang muttering "Idiot" under his breath.

Fortunately, Dumbledore didn't seem offended at all, and instead smiled. "It's understandable that someone who has no experience with magic would be skeptical. I've seen the same behaviour from Muggle-borns more times than I can remember. Rest assured, Mr. Elric, you'll be seeing plenty of magic the coming school year, should you accept the position, and hopefully for many years after that. You are eighteen, correct?"

"Yeah, got a problem with that?"

"Not at all," Dumbledore assured him. "In the wizarding world, we actually come of age at seventeen. I imagine that some will be skeptical of your ability to teach Alchemy to the students of Hogwarts due to your youth, but if the general here vouches for you, then I have complete confidence in your abilities."

_Polite, respects my abilities as an alchemist, doesn't mind the fact that I'm young, and best of all, he hasn't made any cracks about my height. I'd say he's passed._ Edward thought, pleased. "Alright, if it's okay with you, then I'll teach Alchemy at your magic school."

"Splendid." Dumbledore smiled.

"If I'm gonna be teaching a bunch of kids how to transmute, then I'm gonna need to bring a bunch of books with me," Ed explained. "I can get some of them from the library here in Central, and I'm pretty sure I can get the rest from my old teacher's house in Dublith."

"I'm sure whatever books you bring will make excellent additions to the library in Hogwarts," Dumbledore said. "And if it's not too much to ask, would you mind finding a textbook or two that you feel would be good as mandatory reading for the students?"

Ed shrugged. "I'm sure I can find something that help ease the beginners into it. I suppose I should go get those books now, shouldn't I?"

Leaving General Mustang in his office, Albus Dumbledore and Edward Elric walked to the the rebuilt First Branch of the National Central Library, with almost all of its books restored thanks to Sheska's tireless efforts (Ed seriously hoped she was at least getting paid overtime for all the work those slave drivers were putting her through). The First Branch was restricted for anyone who wasn't a State Alchemist or didn't have the rank of a major, but fortunately, Ed had just been reinstated. A quick flash of his pocket watch, and fifteen minutes later he left with copies of all the books he needed. As he picked them out, Dumbledore would put them into a little pouch he carried with him. The pouch looked like it could barely hold two of the books Edward had selected, but he watched in amazement as the old man stuck more than twenty books into his little pouch, and it never even swelled.

When they exited the library, Dumbledore said, "Well, now that we've done that, why don't we go to Dublith?"

Surprised, Ed answered "Uh, okay. But it's gonna take us a couple days to get there by train. You sure you wanna come?"

"Oh, that's not necessary, Mr. Elric-"

"Ed, please, or Edward. Calling me Mr. Elric makes me feel old."

"As you wish, Edward," Dumbledore said. "As I was saying, it is not necessary for us to take the train to go to Dublith. I can Apparate us there."

"Appa-wha?"

"Apparition is a magical method of transportation. A term you might be familiar with is teleporting."

"Seriously? You can teleport us to Dublith just like that?"

"Indeed I can." Dumbledore said proudly as he held out his left arm to Ed. "Simply take my arm, and we will be off."

Ed looked at the arm offered to him warily, then he looked back at Dumbledore's face, which didn't seem to be hiding any sinister intent. So Ed just took a deep breath, and grabbed Dumbledore's arm. Ed then heard what could best be described as a loud crack, and an instant later, everything changed.

To put it bluntly, it felt like his teacher's fists were slamming into his body from every direction at the same time. Ed saw the world flashing by, and then suddenly everything was normal again.

Edward leaped as far away from Dumbledore as he could, and rested his hands on his legs as he panted.

"I'm impressed," Dumbeldore admitted. "Most people vomit the first time they experience Apparition."

"Warn me the next time you're gonna do that you crazy old bastard!" Ed roared.

"I apologize for your discomfort. It was simply the fastest way for us to get to Dublith." Dumbledore said. He then seemed to remember something. "Edward, is your arm a prosthetic?"

Ed suddenly realized that this old man must have felt the metal in his hand when he'd grabbed his arm for the Apparition, and realized that there was no point hiding it. He removed his glove, bringing his automail hand into view.

"Extraordinary," Dumbledore said as he saw the hand. "I'd heard that your country has advanced prosthetics, but this is the first time I've seen it in person. Is is really connected directly to your nervous system?"

"Yeah," Ed answered. "The automail takes the electrical signals sent out by my brain, and then turns it into normal electricity to move the parts the same way it would if I still had my real hand. My whole right arm is automail, and so is my left leg."

"I see. Now your title of 'Fullmetal Alchemist' makes a lot more sense." Dumbledore said as he tapped his chin. "Hmm, this may present a small problem. Part of Hogwarts' defence system is that electrical items do not function properly within its grounds. However, I promise that by the time the school year starts, I will have devised a solution so that your limbs will be unaffected."

"Good, I'd hate to arrive at your school and not be able to use an arm and a leg..."

The wizard and the alchemist then made their way to Izumi Curtis' home, where Ed explained to his old teacher why he needed to borrow some of her books. But when he told her that he was going to be teaching at a school, Izumi began to laugh uncontrollably. When it became clear that she wasn't going to stop anytime soon, Ed ignored her, took the books he needed from her library, and left. Izumi had laughed the entire time, and Ed could hardly differentiate whether or not he could still hear her while they were leaving the town, or if that was just his imagination.

Dumbledore offered to Apparate him back to Central, but Edward declined, opting to instead return to Resembool by train as he would rather take the longer, more expensive route than go through that again.

"Very well, Edward. I will see you again when it is time for you to come to Hogwarts. Until we meet again." And then the old man Apparated away.

Ed knew that he would have to spend the next couple of months figuring out the curriculum for his class. Apparently Hogwarts had seven years' worth of students, but because Alchemy was a new subject at Hogwarts, he would only have to put together a plan for a single year of teaching. And if he felt like going there again to teach next year, he'd only have to worry about two years worth of teaching. However, Ed could hardly see himself being content with becoming a professor for too long after seeing what Dumbledore looked like after his many years at Hogwarts.

In any event, Ed figured that he should at least check this "magic school" out, it could be interesting. A big part of Ed kept telling him that there was no such thing as magic, but then he'd remember some important words that an old friend had said to him long ago.

_There's no such thing as no such thing._

* * *

**Anyone who can guess who said that quote at the end (it's pretty obvious) gets a cookie!**

**Well, hope that's satisfactory for you. Please leave a review so I know what I can do to make it better!**

**Also, I'm torn on which Harry Potter year this fanfic should be set in. I've narrowed it down to Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, and Half-Blood Prince, and I've decided to let you, the readers, decide which one it will be based in. There's a poll on my profile, so go there and vote! And remember that I can't write the next chapter without knowing what year to set it in!**


	2. I Don't Know Who

**WOW! I am super surprised and even more happy over how much attention this story has already gotten! More than forty story favourites, nearly fifty reviews, and over ninety story follows! And I've only just released the second official chapter!**

**A big thank you to everyone who voted! As for the outcome of the poll, the final results were:**

**Half-Blood Prince - 3 votes (discontinued due to it having by far the least votes)**

**Order of the Phoenix - 29 votes**

**Goblet of Fire - 32 votes WINNER!**

**To the people who voted through reviewing, I specifically said that they would not be counted. And to those out there who wanted Order of the Phoenix but didn't vote, well, now you have to suffer the consequences of your laziness. All the same, I hope you'll enjoy what I've written.**

**I'm making a small tweak to the FMA storyline so that Ed and Winry didn't have their little love confession at the end, because the frequent arguments between these two are a great source of entertainment, and because I want to keep my options open, if you know what I mean. Oh, and I'm bringing Ed's age up to eighteen, because that's how old he was at the end of Brotherhood. If you read the first chapter now, you may notice I've tweaked that.**

**Chapter 2: I **_**Don't**_** Know Who**

_Resembool_

At eight o'clock in the morning of September the first, Albus Dumbledore was waiting just outside the Rockbells' home while Edward Elric packed his bags. As he did this, Winry gave him the same lecture she did every time he left.

"Be sure to oil it every day."

"Okay."

"And please keep the screws tightened."

"Fine."

"Be sure to dry it off immediately after you finish showering."

"Sure.

"Are you even listening?" She angrily demanded.

"Yeah."

Winry huffed in frustration, then told him "Since you're going so far away, I've reinforced the plating in your arm, and thanks to some tricks I learned from Neil during my brief stay at Briggs, it hasn't made your automail any heavier either. So if you find a way to break this, I'm gonna be pissed."

"Yeah, yeah," Ed grunted in a monotone as he picked up his bag. Ed began walking, but stopped after taking two steps. "Hey Winry, in the event that... my automail does get broken, I might not have the time to come all the way back here. So, like, if that ever happens, maybe it wouldn't be too much trouble for you to..." he ran out of words.

"Come to you?" Winry guessed with her eyebrows raised. " Oh Ed, I just... I've never been outside of Amestris in my life."

Ed shrugged. "Okay, I'm sure that if I look hard enough I'll be able to find someone who can repair my limbs while I'm gone." In an instant, Winry's expression became one of pure death, and Edward smirked inwardly, knowing that those words had done the trick. No one was going to touch _her _automail if she had anything to say about it.

"Fine! If it means that a quality mechanic who has carefully studied the art of automail engineering will be looking after the arm and leg that _I_ built for you, and not some idiot looking to steal my designs, then I'll come all the way over to you! Just know that when I do, I'll be charging you a fortune for the travel costs alone, Edward Elric!" she screamed at him.

Nodding in acknowledgement, Ed headed out the door, and went up to the old wizard that was waiting for him. "Time to get going, Dumbledore?"

"Indeed it is, Edward. But before we go, I should give you this," the old man said as he held a locket out to Ed. "I've placed two enchantments on this locket that you will need during your time at Hogwarts, and in the wizarding world in general."

"What kind of enchantments?" Ed frowned.

"The first one is designed to counter the defensive enchantments on Hogwarts that prevent electrical items from functioning. This is to ensure that your prosthetic limbs will be able to remain in working condition. As for the second, there are numerous things in our world that only wizards and witches can see, as well as charms designed to repel Muggles."

"Muggles?"

"That's what we call people who are unable to perform magic," Dumbledore quickly explained. "As I was saying, the second enchantment on this locket will make you immune to the type of charms that would normally repel you, and let you see things that would normally remain unseen due to your non-magical status."

Ed nodded, "Sounds good. I suppose I should probably put that necklace on now then, shouldn't I?" With those words, Dumbledore handed Ed the locket, which he promptly slipped around his neck. Ed then handed Dumbledore a book as well as a sheet of paper. "I wrote this book over the summer. I think it'll be good for getting the kids used to the idea of alchemy this year until they move on to the more complicated stuff. And the paper has the details of the curriculum I intend to teach this year."

Dumbledore nodded to himself as he skimmed through some of the pages of the book. "Hmm, this is rather advanced. I'll need to read more, but I can already tell that students in their first and second year will have too much trouble understanding this." He then pocketed the book in that pouch he carried that somehow never got full, and held out his arm to Edward. "Shall we be off?"

Ed groaned as he recalled his last experience with Apparition, but eventually conceded and grabbed the wizard's arm, and an instant later he once again felt like a thousand Izumi clones were all using him as their punching bag until they snapped back into existence. Ed looked around to see...

Nothing. Just an open field.

"Hey, Dumbledore, are you sure that enchantment that would let me see magical stuff is working? Because I don't see anything out of the ordinary."

"This is not our destination, Edward," Dumbledore stated.

"_What!_" Ed screamed. "Then what the hell are we doing here?!"

"Apparition, while useful, is risky for the wizard who attempts it," Dumbledore explained. "The greater the distance, the greater the chance that one might forget to Apparate an arm, or some of their organs. Only the most skilled wizards alive, such as myself, are capable of international Apparition, and even then, I can only travel so far. We'll be arriving in Diagon Alley as soon as you are ready to Apparate again, Edward."

Ed grumbled in annoyance, but understood. It was like alchemy, in a sense. When an alchemist attempted to transmute something that they didn't understand, or used an inadequate sacrifice, a Rebound would often occur, which was known to be the end of many alchemists whose eyes had been bigger than their stomachs. Dumbledore knew what he was capable of, and wouldn't push himself past his own limits just for the sake of convenience or ambition, which Edward had to respect.

After a one minute breather, Ed took Dumbledore's arm again, and this time when the Apparition ended, Ed found himself standing on a cobbled street, surrounded by men and women wearing various types of robes, most of them looking ridiculous, if not horrid, although there were a few that didn't look all that bad. Still, Ed silently vowed that no one would ever see him wearing that crap.

There were also numerous stores and restaurants, many of which had names that were weird, if not unappealing. There was Whizz Hard Books, Twilfitt and Tatting's, TerrorTours, Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, Scribbulus Writing Instruments, Quality Quidditch Supplies, even one store that was simply titled as Junk Shop, and many others.

"Why are we here?" Ed wondered as he turned to Dumbledore.

"There are a few items that you will need to purchase before you begin teaching at Hogwarts," Dumbledore explained. "Here in Diagon Alley, a witch or wizard can buy just about anything they'll ever need. This is also where Gringotts, the only bank in all the wizarding world, is located. Your government has already made the necessary preparations to give you your own vault, Edward. We just have to go there to make a reasonable withdrawal."

Gringotts was a large, multi-storied building made mostly out of white marble. The wizard and the alchemist ascended the white staircase, where they were greeted by a set of bronze doors, which was flanked by a small, terribly ugly creature wearing a scarlet and gold uniform. Ed looked at Dumbledore, hoping for an explanation.

"That is a goblin, Edward. They run Gringotts, and guard its treasures as well as its secrets jealously. Exceedingly clever beings, though they are not known for being friendly, or for sharing."

After passing through the bronze doors, they were met with a set of silver doors with a message engraved on it. To Ed, it basically translated to: _If you try to steal our shit, we'll beat the shit out of you._

Through the silver doors, they entered a long marble hall with long counters, and at least a hundred goblins. Ed followed Dumbledore as he went to a counter where a goblin was writing with a feather quill, and said "Edward Elric, from Amestris, has come to take a withdrawal from his vault. He'll need fifteen Galleons, forty Sickles, one hundred Knuts, as well a little bit of Muggle money."

"Does Mr. Elric have any identification?" the goblin asked as it glared at Ed with a scrutinizing eye.

Edward reached into his right pocket, and then handed the goblin the silver pocket watch that identified him as a State Alchemist of Amestris. The goblin inspected the watch carefully for a minute, obviously taking time to appreciate the craftsmanship that had gone into it, before nodding in approval and handing it back to Ed.

"Mortath!" the goblin roared. A second later, another goblin came forward. "Take Mr. Elric here to his vault."

The second goblin nodded, and turned to Ed. "If you'll come with me, Mr. Elric."

Ed walked through the small swinging door, before turning back to Dumbledore. "You coming, old man?"

"If you don't mind, Edward, I think I'll stay here and read a bit more of your book, as well as take a look at the curriculum you have planned. Fascinating, your alchemy is, really. Much more potent than the sort of alchemy we wizards occasionally pursue."

"That reminds me," Ed murmured. "Right before I met you, old man, I think I remember Mustang telling me that you wizards have alchemy of your own, but it's too primitive to be of any real use."

"For the most part, you are correct, Edward," Dumbledore said. "If you want, I'll tell you more about wizard alchemy once you get back. Though in the meantime, I suggest you get going. Goblins are not known for their patience."

Ed turned around to see that the goblin had an irritated expression, and followed the ugly little creature into a narrow stone passageway dimly lit by torches. He was then loaded into a mining cart along with Mortath, and suddenly they were speeding down the tracks. Mortath didn't seem to be steering the cart as it didn't have any pulleys or levers, instead the cart seemed to know where to go all on its own. Of course, Edward didn't really care about this because he was too busy enjoying the ride.

"Woo-hoo-hoo! This is awesome!" Ed cheered as they sped through the tunnels. Unfortunately, the cart eventually slowed to a stop next to a strange door.

"Vault nine hundred and forty seven," The goblin said as he climbed out of the cart. It then turned back to look at Ed. "Your watch please, Mr. Elric." Ed reluctantly handed over his watch, and as soon as he did the goblin asked him to stand back. Mortath then took the watch into his left hand, and pressed it into a small indent on the wall that Ed hadn't noticed before, yet somehow his watch fit into it perfectly. As Mortath did this, he simultaneously pressed his right hand into a similar indent in the door next to the one for Ed's watch. Mortath then stepped back, and a second later the door disappeared into the surrounding walls.

"Your government put an awful lot of security into your vault, Mr. Elric. Unless a Gringotts goblin has one of these pocket watches that you State Alchemists carry around, it's impossible to open it."

Ed barely heard him. He was too busy staring at the mound of gold, silver, and bronze coins in front of him. He then shook his head to clear it, then looked back at Mortath. "How much did Dumbledore say I was supposed to withdraw?" He asked as he took back his pocket watch.

"Fifteen Galleons, forty Sickles, one hundred Knuts, and a small amount of Muggle money." Mortath answered.

"Okay, which ones are which?"

"The gold coins are the Galleons, which are equivalent to seventeen silver Sickles, which in turn are worth twenty nine bronze Knuts," Mortath explained.

After taking the necessary money and putting into a small bag, Ed and the goblin got back into the cart, and went another high-speed trip back to the offices, where the Goblins took the three extra Sickles they'd brought from his vault and had it converted into Muggle money. After that, Ed and Dumbledore exited the bank.

Dumbledore said "Well Edward, after looking through the curriculum you planned, I've decided to make Alchemy available for students in their fourth year and up. Although I must say, don't you think that some of the lessons you have planned might be a little harsh?"

"Hey, compared to the way my teacher taught me, this is the censored version."

That didn't seem to convince Dumbledore though. "Even so, I'm slightly concerned for the wellbeing of my students that are unfamiliar with, shall we say, stressful situations."

Ed rolled his eyes. "As I said, this is how I was taught, and I ended up becoming one of the most skilled alchemists in all of Amestris. Besides, if these kids really expect to become decent alchemists in just a few years, I don't have time for training wheels."

"Fair enough," Dumbledore conceded. "Now, before we depart for Hogwarts, there are a couple things I recommend you purchase, the first thing being an owl."

"An owl?"

"Yes, in the wizarding world, our messaging system mainly consists of having owls deliver letters and packages for us, so I highly suggest that you get one for yourself."

* * *

Ed still couldn't figure out how he'd been talked into it, but he was currently exiting Eeylops Owl Emporium holding a cage that contained a female northern hawk owl. Ed had stubbornly refused to even look at all the tiny tawny owls they had in there, as he knew that if Mustang had ever found out he'd bought such a tiny creature for a pet, he would've never stop teasing Ed about how much the pet reminded him of its master. Of course, he also couldn't just buy the biggest one he saw, as it would look like he was trying to compensate for something. But the hawk owl was perfect; nice and big, yet not _too_ big. And to make things better, she was clearly competitive, as when she had seen Ed stop to look at another owl, she'd gone into an absolute frenzy, and didn't stop until she got his attention. Yet when Ed made the decision to buy her, the owl suddenly became very affectionate with him.

And because of the fondness that this owl had shown him, in what he would later call a fit of insanity, Edward made the decision to name her Nina.

* * *

After reluctantly buying a tuxedo (apparently wizards called them dress robes for some reason) since there was supposed to be some sort of formal event this year that required one, Ed was able to convince Dumbledore that there wasn't anything else he needed, so the old man began to explain the final stages of how to get to Hogwarts to Ed, since he clearly did not want to Apparate there.

"Alright Edward, now, when we exit Diagon Alley, we'll be in the Muggle part of London, and once we're there, you'll be on your own."

"Travelling alone is something I'm used to," Ed shrugged. "What do I have to do to get to Hogwarts?"

"You'll need to hail a taxi, and then tell the driver to take you to King's Cross Station. You'll be able to pay for the ride with the Muggle money you withdrew from Gringotts. Once you're there, find Platforms Nine and Ten, and then walk straight at the stone barrier between the two, you need not worry about crashing as long as you are wearing the locket. After that, you'll find yourself on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, where you will board the _Hogwarts Express_ with this ticket." Dumbledore finished his little instruction speech by handing a small envelope to Ed, who took it with a nod to show that he understood.

Dumbledore led Edward to a brick wall, where he tapped several brick in a counter-clockwise order with a small, fancy-looking stick that had seemingly appeared in his right hand. A second later the brick he'd tapped began to quiver, and shortly after that they were facing an archway that was easily large enough for someone as tall as Major Armstrong to walk through. Through the archway, they entered a small courtyard, where they then entered a bar.

"This, Edward, is the Leaky Cauldron. A very popular wizard pub which serves as the doorway between Diagon Alley and the Muggle part of London. I recommend that we stop here to have a quick bite to eat before we go."

After entering the Leaky Cauldron, Dumbledore politely asked the pub's owner, a bald hunchback named Tom, for a cup of tea. Ed on the other hand couldn't figure out what he wanted, since everything on the menu was a different kind of soup, and they all consisted of a different order of the words _house_, _leaky_, and _soup_. Ed tried seeing if there was anything to drink, but all they had was tea, and something called exploding lemonade, which was apparently "potentially hazardous for the drinker's health". Ed ended up not ordering anything, and sat down as he rested his chin on his arms, wishing he had a cup of coffee.

Ed saw that the patron sitting next to him was reading what had to be the local newspaper, with the headline reading _SCENES OF TERROR AT THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP_, and underneath this was a picture of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. And it was moving.

_More magic,_ Edward figured. He then spoke to the person reading the paper. "What happened there?"

"Hmm?" The wizard murmured as he flipped his paper around to see what he'd asked about. "Oh, you haven't heard? A group of Dark wizards attacked the campgrounds at the Quidditch World Cup after the match was finished. What's worse, the Ministry was caught completely off-guard! They claim that no was seriously injured, but some people say they saw Ministry officials removing bodies from the forest there."

"Can I have a look at that?" Ed asked. The wizard nodded and handed his paper over to Edward. Ed quickly read through the story, frowning the entire time. When he finished he shook his head in disgust. "This thing is total garbage. If anyone had actually been killed, this story would have quotes from the victim's friends and families. This," Ed checked the sub-headlines for the author, "Rita Skeeter woman probably just made that crap up to boost her ratings."

As Edward handed the newspaper back to the wizard, the man seemed to think this over before saying "You know, you're probably right. I can't believe I didn't think of that myself. Still, it doesn't bode well for the Ministry's reputation if a group of Death Eaters can just show up at an international sporting event and do whatever they please."

"Death Eaters?" Ed frowned. When the wizard looked at him in a funny way, Ed tried to explain his lack of local knowledge. "I've never been to Great Britain before today."

"Oh, that explains it," The man said. "Well, Death Eaters are... they're Dark wizards, the worst of the worst. They're the followers of You-Know-Who."

"I don't 'know who'," Ed grunted, slightly irritated. "So you might as well tell me who this guy is."

Suddenly the wizard got a fearful look in his eye, and stammered "I-I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable talking about... about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Then he got up and left, not even finishing his soup.

Annoyed, Ed got up from his seat and walked over to where Dumbledore was finishing his tea. "Hey Dumbledore, know anything about a guy who everyone else here seems to know about, yet they're too afraid of him to even say his name?"

Dumbledore suddenly got a very serious look on his face before saying "I believe, Edward, that you are referring to Lord Voldemort, who is widely regarded as the most powerful Dark wizard in history. At the height of his power, Voldemort went on what can best be described as a crusade to 'purify' the wizarding world. And he did this by brutally murdering anyone who was unable to trace part of their lineage back to a pureblooded house - a family that has had magic in its bloodline for centuries. I am pleased to say that he eventually fell from power, but even when most people thought him to be dead, the fear he inspired prevented them from even saying his name. But contrary to popular belief, I do not think that he died all those years ago, Edward. I believe that Voldemort is still out there somewhere. Hiding in the shadows, biding his time, gathering his strength. And there are others who share this belief, including those who once followed him. This attack on the Quidditch World Cup proves that Voldemort's followers themselves believe that their master will soon return from his long exile. And when he does, he will strike at the world of Muggles and Muggle-borns without mercy."

As Dumbledore got up from his seat, his face resumed its wise-yet-jolly demeanour. "Well, I believe that's enough of that, Edward. It is time for you to be off if you intend to board the _Hogwarts Express_."

The wizard and the alchemist then exited the Leaky Cauldron, emerging onto the streets of London. It was then that Ed remembered something he'd wanted to ask Dumbledore about.

"Hey, I meant to ask you about how wizard alchemy works- What the?" Dumbledore was gone.

"God dammit, I hate it when people do that."

* * *

_King's Cross Station_

Edward slowly pushed his way through the crowds as he made his way to Platform Nine, with his bag in one hand and Nina in the other. Once there, he also saw the sign for Platform Ten, and sure enough there was a large stone column which acted as a barrier between the two.

"Okay, the old man said to just... walk straight into the barrier, and then I'll be on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters... Yeah this whole thing is total bullshit." Ed sighed as he shook his head. He then saw one of the many clocks throughout the station, and it was 10:53, meaning that the train he was supposed to board would be leaving in seven minutes.

"Fuck me," he groaned. And Edward ran straight at the barrier, fully expecting to crack his skull on the stone.

Instead he narrowly avoided running into another person as he passed through the barrier and emerged onto a platform entirely different from the ones he'd just seen. The floor was finely polished, many of the people were wearing those ridiculous robes again, and the train was bright red with the words _Hogwarts Express_ clearly engraved on it in bright gold letters. Edward was actually at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

Many of the passengers were busy saying goodbye to their families as Edward boarded the train, so he was fortunate enough to find an empty compartment. Ed rested Nina on one of the seats, and after making sure his owl was comfortable, Ed took off his red coat, and bundled it up into a makeshift pillow as he then decided to take a nap.

* * *

"Are you going to enter?" Malfoy demanded as he looked at Ron. "I suppose _you_ will, Potter. You never miss a chance to show off, do you?"

"Either explain what you're on about, or go away, Malfoy." Hermione muttered testily as she read _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Four_.

At those words, Malfoy grinned gleefully. "You mean you _don't know_?" He laughed. "You've got a father and brother at the Ministry, and you don't even _know?_ My god, _my_ father told me about it ages ago. Heard it from Cornelius Fudge. But then, Father's always associated with the top people at the Ministry. Maybe your father's too junior to know about it, Weasley. Yes, they probably don't talk about important stuff in front of him."

Laughing once more, Malfoy finally left the Golden Trio, his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, following at his heel.

The instant he left, Ron got up and slammed the sliding compartment door shut so hard that the glass shattered.

"_Ron_!" Hermione shrieked reprehensibly. She then took out her wand at uttered "_Reparo_!" And all the glass shards flew back into a pane that reattached itself to the door.

Ron snarled "That little... Making it look like he knows everything and we don't. _Father's always associated with the top people at the Ministry..._ Dad could've gotten promoted anytime... he just likes it where he is..."

"Of course he does," Hermione said reassuringly. "Don't let Malfoy get to you, Ron."

"Him! Get to me! As if!" Ron roared as he took a Cauldron Cake in his hand and squished it to a pulp.

About twenty minutes later, their silence was interrupted by a series of girlish giggles. "What's that?" Harry wondered as he and Hermione opened the door and looked out to see several girls crowded together, whispering to one another as they looked at whatever was in the compartment in front of them, obviously admiring something or more likely someone in that compartment.

Curious, Harry and Hermione went to go check it out, while Ron chose to stay in their compartment and continue his brooding.

"What's going on over here?" Hermione wondered as she and Harry approached the group of girls.

Now that Harry was closer, he saw that the group consisted of Gryffindors Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, Lavender Brown, and Parvati Patil, Hufflepuffs Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones, Ravenclaws Penelope Clearwater, Marietta Edgecombe, and Padma Patil (Harry was grateful that he didn't see Cho Chang among them) and even Tracy Davis and Daphne Greengrass from Slytherin.

"Hey Hermione, hey Harry, what are the two of you doing?" Katie asked.

"We're wondering what's got all of you so fascinated with this compartment." Hermione answered as she squeezed her way to the front. She then saw a boy with long golden hair, wearing black boots, black pants, a black long-sleeve shirt, and white gloves, sleeping on one of the seats. "Who's that?" She wondered.

"That's what we're all wondering too." said Hannah.

"Perhaps he's a transfer student from another school," Daphne hypothesized. "It would explain why none of us have ever seen him before."

"If that's the case, he'll need to be Sorted into one of the houses!" Lavender squeeled. "I bet he's a Gryffindor. His red coat, _oh_, and his golden hair and eyes, he's destined to be in our house, I just know it!"

"Oh please," Marietta scoffed. "If he's getting transferred to Hogwarts, he must be some sort of genius. And we all know which house is home to those who are quick-witted."

"You're both wrong," Tracey argued. "When I first noticed him, I saw the crest on the back of his jacket, and that crest has a serpent on it. That's a sure sign he's meant for Slytherin."

This argument of which house the boy would be Sorted into went back and forth between the girls, so Harry and Hermione decided to escape the chaos and return to their compartment. When they got there, they saw that Ron's mood had not improved at all.

* * *

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Great Hall_

As the feast that always followed the Sorting ended, Professor Dumbledore got to his feet and began his speech. Harry also noticed that the boy all those girls had been gushing over on the train was sitting with the teachers. He wondered why he hadn't been Sorted into his house yet. Perhaps Dumbledore would mention him in his speech.

"So!" He smiled. "Now that we are all fed and watered," Harry ignored the "Hmph!" that Hermione gave due to her just discovering that there were house-elves at Hogwarts. "I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices." He said to everyone.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle, has, this year, been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office if anybody would like to check it." The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched as he said this.

He continued "As ever, I would like to remind you all that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year. It it also my painful duty to inform you that the inter-house Quidditch Cup will not take place this year."

"_What_?" Harry gaped. He wasn't the only one, as murmurs erupted throughout the Great Hall.

Dumbledore spoke again. "This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy, but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-"

As he said this, there was a deafening rumble of thunder, and the doors to the Great Hall sprang open. A man stood in the entrance, wearing a dark travelling coat that shrouded his figure, and he was leaning on a long staff. When a flash of lightning from the enchanted ceiling lit the room, everyone saw the newcomer's horribly disfigured face, and more than a few students gasped, or even recoiled. The stranger then went up to Professor Dumbledore, and whispered a few words to him, after which he took his seat on Dumbledore's right.

"May I present our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore said in his cheerful tone, "Professor Moody." Despite the warm welcome, nobody clapped except for Dumbledore and Hagrid.

With Moody's interruption dealt with, Dumbledore continued his speech. "As I was saying, we have the honour of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event which has not been held for over a century. It is my great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."

"_You're joking!_" Fred Weasley screamed. This served to break the tension that had been caused by Moody's arrival.

Dumbledore went on to explain the history of the Triwizard Tournament, and the wealth and glory that went to whoever emerged victorious from it, though he was also quite expressive on how it had been discontinued due to the high death tolls. The Headmaster of Hogwarts then informed them all that the competing schools would be Durmstrang and Beauxbatons, and the selection for each school's contender would take place on Halloween. He also made it quite clear that in order to reduce the chance of there being any deaths in the Tournament, the Ministry of Magic as well as the heads of all the different schools had agreed to modify the rules so that no one under the age of seventeen could enter the Tournament, which caused an uproar even greater than when Dumbledore had said there wouldn't be any Quidditch this year. He also told everyone that he would personally make sure that no one underage would be able to enter the Tournament.

"The delegations from Beaubatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in October, and remaining with us for the greater part of this year. I know that you will all extend every courtesy to our foreign guests while they are with us, and will give your whole-hearted support to the Hogwarts champion when he or she is selected. And now, before you all head off to bed, there is one last thing I have to tell you all."

Harry wondered what Dumbledore could have to say after telling them about the Triwizard Tournament, but then he remembered that the golden-haired boy with the red coat was still sitting with the school staff. _Dumbledore's probably going to give him a big introduction to make him feel welcome before Sorting him._

"For centuries, alchemy has been known as the art of turning different metals into silver and gold, as well as the brewing of various healing elixirs. However, several months ago the Ministry of Magic made diplomatic connections with the country of Amestris, and when that happened, alchemy as we know it became redefined. Joining us from Amestris, is the very first professor of Alchemy in the history of Hogwarts, Professor Edward Elric."

Harry watched in astonishment as the boy everyone had thought to be a new student stood up and gave a little wave. The new _professor_ instantly got a much warmer reception than Moody had, as the Great Hall erupted in applause - with the vast majority of it coming from the girls.

As the cheering finally died down, Dumbledore said "Before we depart to our common rooms, Professor Elric has agreed to show us all a brief demonstration of his alchemy. Edward, if you would?"

The new professor of Alchemy hung his red coat on the back of his seat before making his way to the front, where Dumbledore stepped back to give him some space. Professor Elric looked at all the students for a moment before clapping his hands together in a prayer-like gesture, and then slamming his right hand down on the stone floor. Suddenly there was a bright blue flash of light, and then the entire school watched in amazement as a menacing-looking gargoyle rose out of the ground.

This time, the applause was even louder than before, with more than a few girls publicly declaring that they would be the first to sign up for his class. Then Professor Elric put his hands together again, and when he touched the gargoyle it sank back into the ground. He then returned to his seat.

With Professor Elric's display of his alchemic powers finished, Dumbledore addressed his students one last time that night. "And that is just one of alchemy's many uses. Students in their fourth year or older who are interested in studying under Professor Elric are welcome to sign up for his class tomorrow morning. And now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow. Bedtime! Chop chop!"

As Harry began to get up, he noticed Hermione, who appeared to be frozen with shock.

"Hermione, are you okay?"

After about thirty seconds, Hermione finally said something.

"He's a _professor_!?"

* * *

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed that, even if you didn't want this story to be set in Goblet of Fire.**

**Don't worry about Ed being completely amazed about everything he sees in Hogwarts and being overwhelmed by the world of magic, after all, you'd probably react the same way if you saw all that stuff for the first time. Also, Ed will have plenty of opportunities to impress the witches and wizards of Hogwarts with his alchemy, just like he did with the gargoyle. Plus Ed's already a huge hit with the ladies! XD**

**Oh, and does anyone know whether or not they have Christmas in Amestris? And don't say yes just because of Madam Christmas' name. Also, exactly how much influence did Nicolas Flamel have on Amestrian alchemy, if any?**

**As always, please rate and review!**


	3. THERE'S A TEST ON THE FIRST DAY!

**Hey Guys! Sorry for the long wait, but I hope this new chapter makes it all worth it!**

**Wow! We're already at over one hundred reviews! I am simply overwhelmed by all the love and support you guys have shown me! You're all absolutely wonderful!**

**In regards to those questions I asked you all in the author's note at the end of the last chapter, I've decided that since nothing in the Fullmetal Alchemist wiki says anything about Nicholas Flamel playing a significant role in the history of Amestrian alchemy, he will have no connections whatsoever with Fullmetal Alchemist. And as for the symbol on Edward's coat being "Flamel's Crest" the purpose of that crest was mainly to act as the symbolic counter to the homunculi's ouroboros tattoo, which represented immortality, whereas Ed's crest represented mortality. And in regards to holidays, Edward will have no experience at all with any of the ones that the students at Hogwarts regularly celebrate, Christmas, Halloween, and Valentines Day, being a few examples.**

**Also, I should probably let you all know that I'm going to be keeping Edward's short complex. The reason that I'm doing this is that even though he's grown to the point where he's taller than Winry, he's still much shorter than the average adult man... Plus messing around with Ed like that is just too much fun. LOL!**

**Chapter 3: THERE'S A TEST ON THE FIRST DAY!?**

_Gryffindor Common Room,_

Harry and Ron were both relaxing in the Gryffindor common room together as they'd just finished classes for the day, last of which had been their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It had easily been one of the most interesting lessons they'd ever had, as Professor Moody had demonstrated the Unforgivable Curses to everyone, telling all the students that they needed to prepared for the worst, and above all, maintain _constant vigilance!_

And to make things even better, they'd managed to avoid getting any homework today, so the two Griffindors were free to do as they pleased.

"Bloody amazing, is what it was," Ron said. "And this was only the first lesson! I can't even begin to imagine what that nutter's got planned for us down the road."

Suddenly Fred spoke up from where he and George were writing down something together on a piece of parchment. "Considering that you just called Moody a nutter, I'm guessing you haven't met Professor Elric yet, 'cause compared to him, even folks like Moody seem sane."

"Only when he's mad," George added with a shrug. "Here's a tip, guys: If you want to live, don't piss off the new Alchemy teacher, and whatever you do, _do not _call him short. Fred here called him Professor Pipsqueak during our first lesson earlier today, and next thing we knew, Elric had turned into a demon and was screaming 'Who the hell are you calling a tiny little midget who's shorter than the brats he's supposed to be teaching!'"

"You actually said that to his face?" Harry asked Fred, shocked.

"Of course not," Fred responded. "He made most of that insult up. But regardless, he gave me the options of detention with him for a week, deducting fifty points from Gryffindor House, or punching me in the face." Fred explained as he turned to fully face Harry and Ron, revealing his bruised right cheek. "I chose the last one. And let me tell you, that bloke packs a mean left hook."

Harry was shocked at this. When he'd found out about the new class, he'd signed up for it as soon as he could since it not only seemed exceptionally interesting if the way Professor Elric had created that gargoyle during the school's opening feast was any indication, but more importantly it meant he'd be able to drop Divinations. Now though, he was beginning to have second thoughts.

"As I said though," George added as an afterthought. "As long as you don't do anything to make him mad, he's actually a pretty cool teacher. Just be prepared for some... unconventional teaching methods when you walk into his class." And with that, the Weasley twins packed up whatever they had been working on, and left.

Awhile later, after most of the other students had gone off to bed, Hermione - who had been spending every free moment she had in the library since school started - entered the room. She was carrying several large books. all of which were about Amestrian alchemy, and sat down on one of the couches before turning to her two friends with a panicked look.

"I can't believe we're already having our first Alchemy class tomorrow! I'm so nervous... I haven't had nearly enough time to study!" The know-it-all shrieked.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Hermione. Just because you didn't have time to read every book in the library about it doesn't mean you're unprepared."

Harry agreed with Ron. "Yeah Hermione, after all, Alchemy is a completely new subject, so I doubt the teacher expects us to be experts on it before we've even started classes. It's not like Professor Elric's gonna give us all tests on the first day."

"You don't know that!" Hermione screamed. "I've heard from some of the older students that there's some sort of preliminary exam to see if you're even qualified to be trained as an alchemist! And so in order to be properly prepared I need to know as much about Amestrian alchemy as I can!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Hermione." Ron muttered. "I know for a fact that you just want to look good in front of our new teacher."

"Wh-What?"

"Oh come on, Hermione. Ever since our second year, there's always at least one professor that you're completely smitten with. First it was Lockhart, then Lupin, and now you're fantasizing about the new Alchemy teacher... along with every other girl in the school." He added bitterly.

By now, Hermione's entire face was the reddest anyone had ever seen it. "Professor Elric... is obviously a very accomplished alchemist. He can't be older than his early twenties and yet he was chosen above all the other alchemists in Amestris to come here to Hogwarts and teach us Alchemy."

Harry raised his eyebrows and decided that he just couldn't resist the temptation of teasing his friend a little. "Sounds to me like you're trying to justify your attraction to him, Hermione." At that, Hermione just squeaked in embarrassment before hastily grabbing all her books and running upstairs to the girls' dormitory.

* * *

_Alchemy Classroom._

The next day, Edward Elric was getting ready for another group of first-timers - fortunately the last ones he'd have to deal with this year - this group consisting of Gryffindors and Slytherins in their fourth year. He checked his pocket watch and saw that the class was scheduled to begin in twenty minutes. Ed used this time to go over the list of the students who would be taking part in this class, and as per usual, some of the British names he read were just plain old confusing to him, while others were names he recognized due to having already taught their older siblings.

"How the hell do I pronounce this? Hermi-won? Hermy-own?

"Another one of those Weasley kids? Hmm. Well hopefully this one's smarter than his older brothers from yesterday.

"What kind of parent names their kid Pansy?"

Ten minutes later, Ed set the list aside and checked the door to see if anyone had decided to come early. It turned out that someone had, and that someone was a girl with long, bushy brown hair who was carrying four of the books on alchemy that Edward had supplied the school with.

As soon as the girl saw him she gave a surprised 'eep!' before recollecting herself and stammering "G-Good morning Professor Elric! I-I hope you don't mind that I'm early. My name is Hermione Granger and-"

"Oh so that's how you say it." Edward interrupted her. "Well, you might as well come in. Class starts in a little while anyway." The girl, Hermione, blinked in surprise before nodding and stepping inside Ed's chosen classroom to take a seat right at the front.

After a couple minutes, more and more students began to trickle in until almost every seat in the class had been taken up. Just as Edward was about to close the door and start the lesson, two more boys - one with red hair and freckles which marked him as a Weasley, and the other with black hair and large glasses - came sprinting down the hall. Ed briefly considered shutting the door in their faces, but decided to be generous since it was their first day, and let them in.

Ed then checked his list, and saw to his satisfaction that the number of students currently in his classroom equaled the number of names on his list, so he didn't bother taking attendance and just put a checkmark next to everyone's name. He then put the piece of paper down and addressed his class, many of whom had taken out their wands in anticipation.

"Alright, before we begin, you can all put away your magic stick-thingies. They won't be of any use to you in this class."

While most of the students complied and put them away, one boy with blond hair who was wearing the green and silver robes that showed he was a member of Slytherin House growled "They're called wands you idiot!"

Ed's face snapped over to glare at the Slytherin who had spoken.

"What did you call me, brat?" the Fullmetal Alchemist whispered, yet with the death-like silence that was occupying in the room, everyone could hear him clearly. "Say it again... I'll kick your ass so hard it'll go flying straight to the moon!"

The boy's eyes widened before he shouted "You dare threaten me? I'll have you know that I am Draco of the pureblooded house of Malfoy, and I-"

"I don't care what you are! In here, you're nothing but an amateur!" Ed roared, interrupting a student for the second time that day. "I don't know what kind of superiority complex you've got going on, but listen carefully: It doesn't matter _who_ you can trace your ancestry to, because it doesn't affect me or how you do in my class. So sit down, shut up, and let me get on with my lesson. Oh, and twenty points from Slytherin for being disrespectful to a teacher."

In less than a minute, the students had all quieted down. "Okay, now that that little issue has been taken care of, have any of you ever attended a Muggle science class of any kind, or read any of the books on alchemy in the library that I provided the school with in advance?" More than a dozen kids raised their hands in response, though most of them wore embarrassed expressions as they did so, as they were most likely Muggle-borns and therefore had gone to Muggle schools before discovering their talents as wizards.

"Who actually remembers anything from either of them?" At this, all of the students aside from that Hermione girl who'd arrived first as well as two others lowered their hands, and Ed turned his attention to the only male student who'd kept his hand raised: the boy with the glasses who'd almost been late. "Hey kid, what's your name?"

"Harry Potter, sir."

"Alright Harry Potter, care to tell me what tectonic energy is?"

The boy blinked in confusion for several seconds before stammering "I... I don't know, sir."

Ed shrugged and directed his gaze at the bushy haired girl who'd arrived first. "Hermione, right?" When she nodded excitedly he asked her "Do you know what tectonic energy is?"

"Yes Professor Elric. Tectonic energy is-"

"Calm down Hermione. I just asked if you knew what it was, I didn't ask you to explain it to everyone." Ed then ignored Hermione as her face turned red in embarrassment, and asked the last of the three students to keep their hands raised, a Slytherin girl with long blonde hair, "Do you know what tectonic energy is?"

The girl answered "Yes I do, Professor Elric."

"Good. And your name is?"

"Daphne Greengrass, sir." The girl said as she smiled at him brightly. A lot of his female students had been doing that - and other things - ever since lessons had begun. Edward still hadn't figured out why.

Ed nodded at Daphne, acknowledging her words, before speaking to the class as a whole once again. "For those of you wondering what that was all about, I simply wanted to get an idea of how many of you had at least a rudimentary understanding of some of alchemy's components, and it seems the answer is only two of you. And if you're also wondering why I told you all to put away your wands, the answer is simple: Alchemy is not, in any way, a form of magic. It is actually a type of science. So as long as you possess high intelligence and a strong will, anyone can learn to use it. Now, seeing that it's probably time to get started with the lesson combined with the fact that most of you guys know absolutely nothing about alchemy, I'll have to start with the basics."

Edward walked up to the chalkboard he had in the back of his room and stood in the middle of the board as he began writing notes in point form with his left hand so the kids would be able to see the notes clearly without his body being in the way. "Alchemy is defined as the metaphysical science of manipulating and altering matter using tectonic energy. For those of you wondering what that is, tectonic energy is the movement of the earth's crust and all the processes that result from it. It is the force that shifts continents, makes mountains, causes earthquakes, and forces volcanoes to erupt, to name a few. Alchemists are able to harness this energy and- Hey! Why aren't all of you writing this down?"

The students that didn't already have their quills out scrambled to do so. Ed personally didn't understand why these witches and wizards insisted on using such outdated tools, as a simple pen or pencil made more sense to use as opposed to having to dip a sharpened feather in ink every few minutes. Ed shook his head and continued writing, deciding that those who had started late would just have to catch up.

"As I was saying, alchemists are able to harness tectonic energy and use it as they alter matter in whatever way they see fit. This act is known as transmutation. Now, there are three components that are always a part of any complete transmutation. The first step of the sequence is Comprehension. This means having a complete understanding of the inherent structure of the atomic or molecular makeup of a particular material to be transmuted as well as its properties, including the flow and balance of potential and kinetic energy within it." Ed turned and saw that even though many of the kids barely understood any of what he was saying, most of them still copied down every word he wrote, which pleased him.

"The next step is Deconstruction; using tectonic energy to break down the physical structure of the identified material into a more malleable state so that the alchemist will be able to reshape it into a new form more easily. The third and final stage is Reconstruction. And to do this an alchemist has to continue the flow of energy so that the material can be reformed into whatever form they wish it to be. So to summarize, alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter."

Finishing those notes, Edward began to write on the other side of the board, now taking the piece of chalk in his right hand. "However, since alchemy is a science, that means it must follow the natural laws of the world. The first one being the Law of Conservation of Mass, which states that energy and matter cannot be created from nothing, nor can it be destroyed to the point of elemental nonexistence. So in other words, if I were to use an object that weighed exactly one kilogram for a transmutation and nothing else, I can't transmute something that weighs one point one kilograms.

"The second one is the Law of Natural Providence, which shows that an object or material made of a particular substance or element can only be transmuted into another object with the same basic makeup and properties of that initial material. Which basically means that an object or material made mostly out of water can only be transmuted into another object that has the attributes of water, at least if you want to transmute the whole thing.

"These two laws come together to create the founding principle that governs all alchemy: the Law of Equivalent Exchange, which states that in order for anything to be created or obtained, something of equal value must be lost or destroyed."

Edward looked around to see yet another mass of dumbfounded faces, and chuckled. "I see that it's gonna take most, if not all of you, a little while to digest all this. But you'll all have plenty of time to review these notes over the next month, because that's how much time I'm going to give you all."

A girl from Gryffindor raised her hand and asked "Professor, are you saying that you're giving us all a whole month off?"

"I guess that's one way you could interpret it." Ed shrugged. "I'm sure by now that some of you have heard that there's a preliminary test to see if you've got what it takes to be an alchemist, and it's true." By now Edward had the full attention of every student in the class as he stood before them and explained to them exactly what this test of his entailed.

"One is All, and All is One. Each of you has exactly one month to figure out what those words mean starting today. If you can't figure this out, then your potential as alchemists will be limited, and I'll be unable to teach you anything useful."

A Slytherin boy exclaimed "Wait! So you're telling us that your plan is for you to spend the next month sitting on your arse doing nothing while we roam the castle trying to figure out a riddle?"

Ed sat down as he rested his chin on his hand and answered "Well, now that you mention it, my original plan was make you all spend the next month in the Forbidden Forest with no alchemy, no magic, and no cannibalism, but since you guys have other classes, that's not an option... unfortunately. Plus the old man who runs this place kept saying that that kind of thing would 'threaten the safety of his students,' so he vetoed it."

At this point, every student had a look of absolute horror on their face.

"Oh don't look at me like that! I would've given you all a brief survival course. Besides, my younger brother and I survived by ourselves on a deserted island for a whole month when we were only seven and eight years old, and you guys are all double that age."

When the students didn't show any signs of calming down, Ed sighed and continued. "As I said, you guys aren't going into the Forbidden Forest, you're staying in the castle the entire time. As for what you're all supposed to do for the next month, I really don't care. Use the free time to study or catch up on homework, hell just spend your time screwing around, it doesn't make any difference to me. But for those of you who are interested, whenever you've got a class scheduled with me, you can find me down on the grounds just outside the main entrance, where I'll be holding regular sparring sessions."

A Gryffindor boy with an Irish accent raised his hand and asked "Uh, excuse me, Professor Elric, but why will you be holding sparring sessions? I don't really see what that has to do with alchemy."

Ed gave a slight smirk before saying "I'm glad you asked. You see, when I was learning alchemy, my teacher showed me that in order to train the mind you have to train the body. And on top of that, I noticed that you kids don't have any courses or extracurricular activities that require physical activity of any kind aside from flying on broomsticks, and to be honest I don't even really see how that counts." Edward then put a smile on his face that could only be described as 'evil' and declared "So I've decided that if you're gonna be in my class, then part of my responsibilities are to make sure all you kids are in good physical health."

Realizing that he hadn't told them all the details about the test he'd just assigned them, Ed changed the subject. "Now, as for that test I was telling you guys about a minute ago, there's a few things you need to know. First off, if you happen to be studying with your friends, and then one of you suddenly has an epiphany, it's alright if that person explains the answer to everyone who's in the immediate area." That seemed rather fair to Ed. After all, when he and Alphonse had been on that island together, Ed was the one who had actually figured out the answer. Yet his younger brother was just as skilled an alchemist as Ed himself, and was one of the few people in history who had seen the Portal of Truth and lived, and as a result was now able to perform alchemy without using a transmutation circle.

Ed continued. "However, if you do manage to find the answer, then you had better keep your mouth shut if anyone asks you what it is. I talked to Old Man Dumbledore, and he told all the ghosts and paintings in the castle to keep an eye out for cheaters, which brings me to my last point: If you are unable to successfully find the answer to One is All and All is One by the end of the month, you'll fail the entire class, and will just have to try again next year if you feel like it. Cheaters on the other hand... will be expelled. Plain and simple."

* * *

"The man's a bloody lunatic!" Ron screamed once he was certain they were all a safe distance away from their new teacher's classroom.

"Ron, don't be rude," Hermione scolded. "Just because his teaching methods are a little unorthodox-"

"Unorthodox?! Hermione, the nutter wanted to send us all into the Forbidden Forest for an entire month without our wands!"

Despite Ron's protests, Hermione remained steadfast in her defence of Professor Elric. "Need I remind you that he changed his mind about that? Besides, you can't deny that alchemy seems like an incredibly fascinating subject. I mean, did you hear the way he talked about it!" By this point, Hermione's eyes were sparkling. "He said that as long as you possess a high intelligence and a strong will, anyone can become an alchemist, even Muggles! And the way he explained everything so scientifically! And to think that all this was just in the first lesson is just... just... I have to go to the library!" Hermione finally screamed as she started running to said room. Finding the answer to Professor Elric's test had just taken top priority in her mind.

As the two boys watched her leave, Harry decided in that moment that Ron and Hermione would just have to add Professor Elric to their long list of subjects on which they had agreed to disagree.

To Ronald Weasley, Edward Elric was a psychopath who should have been locked up in the deepest, darkest cell in Azkaban the moment he set foot on British soil, sentenced to never see the light of day again.

To Hermione Granger, Edward Elric was a genius of the highest calibre who must have been sent to her school by the heavens themselves so that he would have the opportunity to pass his knowledge on to her. And perhaps even give her a few private lessons in the process...

Little did Hermione know, similar thoughts were occupying the minds of hundreds of her fellow witches throughout the school.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was livid.

First that git, Professor Elric, insulted the tool that defined wizardry, then he'd had the audacity to threaten Draco himself!

Draco might have eventually found it within himself to forgive the man, since he hadn't known who he was at the time. Yet after Draco informed his new teacher that he was a descendent of one of the great wizarding families that had maintained their purity, Professor Elric had shown even greater disrespect, completely ignoring Draco's heightened status as a Pureblood.

Draco quickly came to the conclusion that Professor Elric must be be a Mudblood, for no self-respecting Pureblood or even Halfblood would ever show such utter disregard for the powerful magic that could only be found in the blood of the ancients.

As Draco walked to his next class with some of the other Slytherins, he continued to brood over the new Alchemy teacher. During the opening feast, Dumbledore had said that Professor Elric was from the country Amestris, which the Ministry of Magic had only recently began diplomatic negotiations with. _Amestris..._ The name was familiar to Draco, and he racked his brain, trying to remember where he had heard that word before.

_Wait, didn't Father say before school started that the Ministry was discussing diplomacy with a country that apparently had no magical history of any kind? He must have been talking about Amestris. Which can only mean..._

"The man's a filthy Muggle!" Draco roared, instantly drawing the attention of his housemates.

"What are you on about now, Malfoy?" Daphne Greengrass asked as she raised an eyebrow in response to Draco's sudden outburst.

"That... Elric," Draco snarled, refusing to call the man Professor, for that would imply that he respected him. "I'm certain that he's a Muggle. I knew that Dumbledore was losing it when he let that oaf Hagrid start teaching last year, but the idea that he would actually allow a blasted Muggle inside the castle and teach a class... it's unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable! Just wait until my father hears about this!"

"If anyone's lost it, it's you, Malfoy," Daphne said as she dismissed his claims. "Think about it; any Muggle who tried to approach the castle would be pushed back by the Muggle Repelling Wards."

Malfoy growled "I'm sure that fool Dumbledore found a way to counter those charms. He may be a lunatic, but a clever one at that. Mark my words, Elric doesn't have a drop of magic in him."

"Okay, even if he can't do magic, you saw the way he created that gargoyle after the Sorting Ceremony along with everyone else." This argument came from Tracy Davis, Daphne's best friend. "So even if Professor Elric can't do magic, you have to admit that he's got some neat tricks up his sleeves."

"Parlour tricks at best," Malfoy said dismissively. "A wizard could have made the statue come to life!" He then focused his gaze on the two girls. "Have both of you forgotten why you were placed in Slytherin House, the house of purity and power? True power lies in one's blood, so you'd better stop this heretical way of thinking, or else-"

"Or else what?" Daphne demanded. "You'll send an owl to your father? Let me remind you that _my_ father holds a seat as one of Great Britain's representatives on the International Confederation of Wizards. You can't intimidate me that easily, Malfoy. And blood is not power, knowledge is. And unlike you, Malfoy, I can clearly see that Professor Elric has a great deal of knowledge that he's willing to pass down to us if we can prove ourselves worthy, which is an opportunity that I will not allow to go to waste."

Tracey grinned "That, and Professor Elric's pretty easy on the eyes, wizard or not." She then gave a dreamy sigh that was obviously being exaggerated. "Seeing his majestic beauty for myself... it's inspired me to broaden my view! After all, these days it's pretty difficult for two Purebloods to marry without committing incest, which can lead to some pretty severe birth defects." Tracey continued as she gave Malfoy a smirk. "We only have to look at you to see evidence of the dangers of inbreeding, Malfoy."

Draco Malfoy stopped dead in his tracks, a perfect mixture of shock, embarrassment, and outrage on his face with his mouth wide open.

"Aww, he's not even denying it! Well, that's enough fun for now. Let's go Daphne!" Tracey smiled at her best friend, who was struggling slightly to maintain her composure. The two Slytherin girls then went on their way, leaving Malfoy behind.

It was a full five minutes before Draco snapped out of his stupefied state, and when he did he whole face went red with rage. He'd show those two harlots! He'd prove to them that real power only lived in those with magic flowing through their veins, and that Elric was nothing but a filthy Muggle...

_One thing at a time,_ Draco reminded himself. It was his sacred duty to cleanse Hogwarts of the Muggle slime stinking up its halls. He'd be able to handle the internal affairs of his house later.

Draco knew that the first order of business would be writing a letter to his father, Lucius Malfoy, and informing him of Elric's inferior blood status. Unfortunately though, it would take a bit of time for his father to take all the steps necessary to remove Elric from the school. Perhaps there was something Draco himself could do in the meantime...

_Elric said that he'd be hosting sparring sessions for each of his classes for the entire month,_ Draco realized, as a diabolical idea formed in his mind. Malfoy then directed his attention to two bumbling buffoons who had been right behind him ever since he's left Elric's classroom.

"Crabbe, Goyle, there's something I need you two idiots to do for me..."

* * *

**Everyone, please join me as we all say a prayer for Crabbe and Goyle, who will likely soon be departing us... unless they decide to stick around as ghosts of course.**

**IMPORTANT!**

**For those of you out there who have nurtured the dream of being my beta reader/ editor and assisting me in the vital role of maintaining proper grammar and spelling as well as keeping everyone in my story in character (I know that some of you have, don't try to deny it) I'm sorry to tell you that I already have one: my younger brother. Even if you're disappointed, you have to admit, it's rather fitting for two brothers to be writing a story about Fullmetal Alchemist together.**

**In regards to Ed's REALLY long explanation about the basics of alchemy, it may have been long-winded, but I felt it was necessary since I've seen so many Harry Potter/Fullmetal Alchemist crossovers where the author completely skips so many important things about alchemy.**

**As for Daphne and Tracey arguing with Malfoy in regards to Edward Elric, I feel that in order to remove any misunderstanding, I should clarify on the personalities I have given them both, since the books never seemed all that descriptive on their characters.**

**Daphne is a very rational girl, as shown when she points out the Muggle Repelling Wards, and when she states that knowledge is power instead of blood. Nonetheless, I couldn't help making her one of Ed's fangirls, as shown when she smiles brightly at him during class. Tracey on the other hand is much more emotional - if that's the proper term - and isn't afraid to go for the cheap shot, as you all just saw.**

**If you're wondering where I got the inspirations for their personalities, just check out some of **_**James Spookie**_**'s stories. They're really good.**

**Well, that's it for now, please let me know that you all think!**


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